this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
