i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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