Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
