Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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