Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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