How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
