Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up under a house in Key West
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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