I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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