Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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