You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
