There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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