my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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