Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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