I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
