everyone is single if you try hard enough
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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