I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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