SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
