i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
