But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
