They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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