I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
