And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can I color on your dick again?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
