Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
false alarm. still invincible.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
