her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
