Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
