my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
