I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
