fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
