Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
