i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
