I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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