We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
