Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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