had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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