her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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