you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
