i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
