sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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