he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
