it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
