Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
