you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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