i'm lost and i look like a hooker
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
