How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
