the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
