Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
