he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
