The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
