did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
