3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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